He Still Talks to His Ex… But Says It Means Nothing

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 6 months now, and honestly, things have been really good between us. We get along easily, rarely fight, and I feel like we actually understand each other. But there’s this one thing that keeps bothering me. He still texts his ex. It’s not all the time, and from what I’ve seen, it doesn’t seem flirty or inappropriate. It’s more like occasional check-ins—like “how have you been” kind of conversations. He told me they ended on good terms, and that cutting her off completely would feel unnecessary and a bit cold. I’ve tried to be okay with it. I don’t want to come across as insecure or controlling. But every time I see her name pop up on his phone, I feel this weird tension in my chest. It’s not a huge reaction, just… something small that lingers longer than I want it to. I finally brought it up, and he looked genuinely confused. He said, “I’m with you. I chose you. Isn’t that what matters?” I didn’t really know how to respond to that. I’m not saying he’s doing something wrong, but it doesn’t feel right to me either. If something keeps making your partner uncomfortable—even if it seems small—shouldn’t that matter? I don’t need him to hate his ex, but I do need to feel like I come first.

I’m not doing anything wrong. We ended on good terms, and I think it’s possible to stay in touch with someone without it meaning anything romantic. I’ve been honest about it, and I’m choosing my current relationship every day. Shouldn’t trust matter more than who I text occasionally?